28 Sentences to Help You Through Work by Loncraine Broxton

1. This isn't an office it's hell with fluorescent lighting
2. Please deposit all work in tray: It's the circular receptacle under my desk mark "Trash"
3. Hard work never kills anyone who's supervising
4. Leave me alone: I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant
5. To err is human, to forgive is against company policy
6. I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter
7. Please file all urgent requests under b...for bullshit
8. Confession is good for your soul but not for your career
9. In a meeting: the practical alternative to work
10. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
11. Busy now. Can I ignore you later?
12. Always give 100% at work: Mon: 12% Tue: 23% Wed: 40% Thu:20% Fri:5%
13. Always be 100% behind your boss. Then it's easier to stab him in the back
14. I love deadlines. I especially like the sound they make when they go whooshing by
15. Chaos, Panic and Disorder. My work here is done.
16. I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me.
17. Situation Desperate: Send Chocolate!
18. If you can stay calm whilst all around you is chaos, you probably haven't understood seriousness of the situation.
19. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it
20. Tell me again how lucky I am to work here. I keep forgetting.
21. I'm out of my mind but feel free to leave a message.
22. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
23. Bad day in progress. Disturb at your own risk.
24. Hard work never kills anyone but why risk it?
25. I don't get even, I get odder.
26. I can see your point, but I still think it's full of crap.
27. If your request is really urgent, I wold have done it already
28. Problems and Complaints: That way -->